30 Days of Night
Created by: Steven Niles and Ben Templesmith
Directed by: David Slade
Screenplay by: Steven Niles, Stuart Beattie and Brian Nelson
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Danny Huston, Ben Foster and some other people
Running Time: 113 minutes
Rated: R for icky blood and bad acting
Official Website

I welcome you to the first installment of The Nifty Nerd’s Dinner and a Movie.  Every week I’ll review a new movie and tell you what you should think about it.  This week Aaron and I went to check out “30 Days of Night.” 

I’m going to start off by saying that I haven’t read any of the “30 Days of Night” comics.  While I do enjoy some of the work by Steven Niles, I am completely turned off by Ben Templesmith’s art (for those of you who don’t know, Steven Niles wrote and Ben Templesmith was the artist on the original “30 Days of Night” comic book mini series).  To me he’s always been a pale reflection of Bill Sienkiewicz — he’s trying to ape Sienky’s style but doesn’t have any of the structure or technical ability to back it up.  I feel like he’s a prime example of what is wrong with comic books in general today. 

In spite of my dislike of Templesmith’s work, I allowed the A-Man to drag me along to see the flick at the opening last night.  The thing that suprised me most when we arrived at our local AMC 30 mega-movie-plex was how uncrowded the theater was.  It looked like AMC had been set up for a huge crowd, with roped off areas for each showing, but the place was half-empty.  Very strange for the 7pm showing of a big budget release on a Friday night.  The empty theater was a sign of things to come.

“30 Days of Night” started off with an interesting notion - a town in Alaska, which suffers from a winter night that lasts 30 days, is invaded by vampires looking for a good meal.  It’s too bad that’s the only interesting thing about it.

The vampires are lead by a creature named Marlow (named in the credits only), played by Danny Huston.  Huston was easily the most intriguing character in the film.  To me he looked like a vampire gangster and who, for some completely unknown reason, reminded me of Don Rickles as the vampire mobster in 1992’s “Innocent Blood.” There were also an inordinate amount of Marilyn Manson looking vampires running around this picture.  Which, oddly, I didn’t have a problem with.

Unfortunately, that’s the most interesting thing about this film.  What could have been a great flick in the vein of a WWII submarine movie or John Carpenter’s version of “The Thing,” turned out to be a fairly emotionless exercise in watching the days tick away.  The director, David Slade, sacrificed every opportunity to build suspense and drama for…well…I’m not quire sure.  It’s almost as if they took all of the boring, mundane moments that were cut out of other horror movies and them to build their story.  In fact, every beat of “30 Days of Night” seemed to be taken right out of every other horror flick out there and then had the emotion squeezed out of it.

It doesn’t help that the lead character was played by the obviously half-asleep Josh Hartnett.  I’d bet money he took his acting cues in this one from Ben Affleck in “Phantoms” because his performance was better than a case of No-Doze.  You can see Josh in the picture to the left.  I think he’s yawning…I know I was.  Hey, now that I think about it, does anyone else find it too much of a coincidence that Josh Hartnett is in “30 Days of Night” and was also in “40 Days and Nights?”

It’s funny that a vampire movie could be this anemic.  Much like the artwork of the comics, the movie was all about style with no real substance beneath it…but, at least it was a better vampire movie than “Blade 3.”  For that, I give “30 Days of Night” 3 Stars.

Oh, before I forget.  Is it me, or does the vampire to the right look like a really evil penis?  I went ahead and drew a little urethra on his head to help you visualize.  There is very little scarier in life than a penis vampire…well, aside from a vagina with teeth or the idea that someone someday might decide to remake “From Justin to Kelly.”  But that’s just my opinion…

-NiftyMat, Professional nerd
http://www.theniftynerd.com/