They may be  closer to Old Cogers than New Kids but they are back.  After 14 years, Jordan, Jonathan, Joey, Donnie and Danny are back together and the creative dynamo once known as the “New Kids on the Block” lives once more.

The Modern New Kids.

And by “creative dynamo” I mean former teen heart throbs who, during the height of their popularity, were known to score more underage vag than R Kelly ever landed.  And they did it all without ever peeing on anyone.

The original New Kids on the Block (years before their comeback as “NKOTB”) started to make an impact on the music scene, and in the panties of young girls everywhere, back in early 1989 when I was a junior in high school.  The first song I remember hearing from them was “You Got It” –better known as the “Right Stuff” song.  Soon every girl, and every guy of questionable sexuality, was wearing the incredibly baggy New Kids t-shirts featuring headshots of the band members and declaring the wearers were “Hangin’ Tough!”  For about 4 years you couldn’t spit without hitting a piece of New Kids merchandise.

I do want to come clean and admit something…to come out of the closet as it were, much like everyone wishes the New Kids themselves would go ahead and do.  I was a secret New Kids fan.  Sure, during the days or with my friends I would mock them and any guy who dared show an interest in their music.  Real men didn’t listen to the New Kids on the Block no matter how enthusiastically they insisted “We’re Rough!” 

But, late at night, alone in my room, I am ashamed to admit that I turned on MTV and watched the group, learning every move in every video they produced.  That’s right, I danced to the New Kids and, only while their music pumped in my tiny room did I truly live.  I was never cool (or deluded) enough to ever premiere my New Kids inspired moves in public, but I do still pop a little “Danny Wood” in my pants whenever I hear one of their songs play on the radio.

With their bubblegum pop and faux-tough guy leader, Donnie Wahlberg, the New Kids on the Block were a dominating force at the end of the 80s.  The group was even named by Forbes magazine as the highest paid entertainers of 1990, beating out such music industry heavyweights as Michael Jackson and Madonna.  Their faces were plastered on everything that could hold an image - comic books, cartoons, pillow cases, lunch boxes, a 1-900 hotline and dolls…er…action figures of the members. 

Unfortunately, as the 90s progressed, the New Kids on the Block began to wane in popularity, being replaced by gangster rap and grunge music.  Even a re-branding as NKOTB and harder image couldn’t help their eventual fall from the peak of musical stardom.  To the regret of their 3 remaining fans, the New Kids disbanded in 1994 and went their separate ways. 

For those of you who ever proclaimed your roughness or wanted to shave the sides of your head while sporting a tail out the back, know joy that the New Kids are back on the Block. 

-Mat N., the Nifty Nerd
http://www.TheNiftyNerd.com